JANUARY 9 2001

And so the year is new, and so am I. And there is people I could thank, and people I could blame, and people who just don't care... and people who care too much. But not tonight.
Needless to say, the most important, and exciting part of, lets say, a court room drama for example, is when the jury comes out and says, guilty, or not guilty. If you take that bit of film and just watched it, it would be perhaps the most boring thing you have ever seen. misleading, and in a way, even cruel. It is everything that has lead up to that moment that makes is so important.... no one should ever think there isn't at very least an hour and a half of things out there that lead to any decision.
And the moon is full and bright...
The last year was a year to remember. And I am glad is has finally come to a close... and don't think I am ungrateful of it all, but there is always two views to the same verdict... even if they are in one head.
Soca music for a dead soul.
Good night.

DECEMBER 17 2000

The year is coming to a close, so I have decided to write something down for you cats to read here. It is my daughter's birthday in a couple days.. she will be three. But that is not my point. The point is I went to a mall today and fully realized how pathetic and stupid christmas has got. There is no good will toward man, and the spirit of christmas and all that any more.. it is just a commercial thing, to the fullest extent of the meaning. and I for one am totally sad about it. granted, I think the whole original Jesus thang is pretty fucked up and stupid, but it seems to have always been a good reason for people to be nice to each other. And that can't be a bad thing... but that has given way to spoiling kids, and making money... good god, when I saw all the people at the mall today, I almost decided right there not to get my kids anything for christmas. And it would probably be a good plan.. they would grow up thinking Christmas is about all the good things it is supposed to be, rather than the time of year when they get all the stuff they want. Anyway this is going to be a sad, lonely self-pitying christmas for me any way.. Poor little Blaise... this will be the first Christmas I will not have any one to share it with since 1993.. wait no. I had someone then too... it would be 1991. Man, I guess it is about time to be single anyway. I should shut up now.
Oh yeah.. get my records, they are finally done.. but I'm sure you can see that from the appearance of my web site... well... if I don't see you all again soon, happy Christmas... and if you see a skateboarder anywhere, spit on them for me.... just kidding... i think.

NOVEMBER 2 2000

Well... Halloween.
Halloween went something like this:

and that was that.

OCTOBER 13 2000

Happy Friday the 13th every one.
Good god.. where have I been?
And what will come out of such an absents?
All will be revealed in time....
Let it be known.. I am still working hard on a great many things.

SEPTEMBER 14 2000

It looks as though I have been away for sometime... well, as you may know, for the last few months I have been working on another record, I guess in the last month I have transformed myself in to obsessive mode, it seems that all I do is make music these days... re-writing lyrics, re-mixing, adding to, cutting, creating, and then re-doing it all again... I have about 12 tracks that I am pretty pleased with right now, a few tracks that I need to improve, and I will probably totally change my mind about what I'm happy with today, tomorrow... on going would be the word to use. But it's all worth it, and I can assure you that when I finally do finish, it will be perfect. The new stuff I have been doing is basically amazing, and like nothing I have ever done before. I have stopped posting music on MP3.com, cuz i never know what's finished any more, and I wanna see the faces of people when I finally reveal it to them some day in the future... just be warned, i am gonna change your lives...
Most distressing is the fact that I have three days off for my birthday, but it seems i have no plans. we were gonna play a show, but terry said he might have to work, and scott wants to spend the weekend with his girl friend, as it is her birthday as well... so i may just be stuck here by my self... crying in to a bucket of eggs and head lice, while the moon eclipses in to a burning red darkness... well, such is the way of my lonely old maid inspired life.... lets hope i write again soon. ciao.

AUGUST 27 2000

Today is SC's 17th anniversary. Yet another year went by with little to no recognition... Perhaps we are all doomed to live out the rest of our lives doing the meaningless things we tend to do.  Sad how the dreams of Terry and myself have gone to hell. Perhaps it would be better if we had some sort of ambition in out hearts.. we have the talent and creativity down, but no ambition... who do we blame for this? Is it the fault of grunge music, the whole slacker thing that we grew up with? Perhaps it is the fault of all rock and roll in general... what passes for rock these days anyway? Is it Korn and Limp Bizkit and Slip Knot and all that? Cuz if it is, I don't wanna be a part of that any more. Is SC just a bunch of dinosaurs who are afraid to live in the future? I ponder these thoughts all the time.. what is it that we are doing wrong? I am convinced that no one likes anything we are doing any more... but really, what are WE doing? All I see is me doing music by myself, and Paul making films by himself, and Scott doing sick things to animal carcasses, and wasps by himself, and I don't know what the hell Terry does. Perhaps it is because we have all separated... divided we fall and all that. The last three or four songs I have made sound more like techno than even industrial, forget about rock and roll, or punk... what the hell has happened to me. Today my guitar fell to pieces, the low E string snapped in half and my bridge broke off, and the wires inside connecting the pick-ups snapped in half.... Like what the hell does that all mean? Like am I being told something here? Perhaps I will just give it all up... It has been years since I felt my music like I want to anyway. I remember the last time my music really hit me. It was the last time we played at the unicorn, and all the kids in the audience were yelling for us to play squid from hell, just everybody out there cheering and singing along and happy, I was in a trance or something, it could easily be compared to the birth of my son, or falling in love for the first time... I guess it is hard to explain... but you can't get there when you are by your self in your room still making music, but there is no one else to hear, and no one to do it with, concerned more about the different tracks and over dubs, and sound effects to care about the passion of it all... It all sounds better, but at what cost? I would give it all up in a second just to have me and Terry and Scott playing at a party somewhere every weekend again, where every one was happy just to hear us, no matter how much we sucked. Just to have some one clapping for you being you. Once you hear that sound, you will never be the same again, and I haven't been. Sorry about all this. I tend to get rather nostalgic on this day every year. I think that the SC festival for the 15th anniversary may have been the end, and no one knew it at the time. I couldn't have asked for more though... All day long in a garage, I much rather playing in a garage or a basement or whatever than a bar, I don't know why... every one was there, we all played the music we loved, watched the films we made... it was wonderful. And that is all I need.
Well, i  guess I am the only one to say it again, but happy anniversary to SC, and thanks for everything you have done for my life.

AUGUST 10 2000

Ahhhh... so you all thought I was back... but I fooled the lot of you. As you can all see I have been busy making sweet music with my new found partner Elaine from Britain.  Other than that I have been doing what I tend to do.. which isn't very exciting. but such is the way of my life. What I would like to know is why the kids these days don't appreciate good hippy music.... like what is up? I don't think teenagers go any further than the 1990s to find music any more, it is to distressing... of course I am generalizing again, but I think I have a point in there somewhere... well I am tiered, and I have to pick up the children of the future soon. I will do everything in my power to subject my children to all the good things in life... I remember when I was in high school, any one who was remotely cool was a die-hard jane's addiction fan.... I wonder if kids these days even know who Jane's addiction is? And would it still make them cool? Perhaps I am just jaded and old.... I am going to be 25 next month, an event I am not looking forward to... like that is fucking old, man. I will join the quarter century club... perhaps that's what 'no quarter' is really about... But led zeppelin worshipped the devil, so who knows. I should go, before I say anything more.

JULY 13 2000

So I am back.. back with a vengeance... So what did I do in my poof-like absence? Not really a hell of a lot to tell you the truth... yet at the same time i did giant amounts... I'm sure you know what I am talkig about.. been making music mostly.. no new albums any time soon.. so don't worry about that... I have made enough music since three sticks to make a whole new record.. but I am not gonna.. I am gonna pick out the absolute best of what I do, and then probably post it on MP3.com for all of you to listen to.. My eyes don't work any more.. every thing just keeps getting fuzzier and fuzzier... i wish I knew why. I should probably give my wishes to Traci on her birthday, which was a couple days ago... so i will. I think I am ready to start up another underground rock and roll revolution very soon... just like the old days.. back in 1994... yeah.. we were making a difference in the world back then... i think it's about time... for sure. First thing I need to do is get my band back together... then we shall conquer the universe... But before all that, I think I need a hair cut... it's looking pretty weird up there right now.. I want to grow it long again, but at what cost?? can you tell me that??? Am I doomed to look like a geek until mr.hair decides it is time to be long enough again??? life is too hard. We made the third in the zipper within film series. It is called "The Art Of Dutches" and kicks the hell out of anything at the movie theater this summer... soon to be edited, and finished.. I will keep you all posted. I am continuing with the script to 36 Blocks Of Hair... as you may or may not have known, the script on my web site here, is just a partial script.. that's right kids, its gonna be a longer film... but I wouldn't go so far as to say feature length... but it shall kick ass none the less. Traci is slated to star as Sindy.. and if she's not available, then it will be me... but the rate at which this damn hair grows upon my lip does worry me so... I would have to be shaving between every damn shot. life is hell.

JULY 5 2000

I have decided to disappear for a while...
see you all some time again... ciao.

JULY 1 2000

Happy Canada day to all... especially those poor bastards in the united states... how I pity thee. It has been some time since I wrote in this propaganda leaden mess, so I shall do so right now. I have a blister on my big toe, cuz i walked and walked and walked all day, trying to find a place to cash my pay cheque... i finally went to Money mart.. only three bucks on a hun, and its soupy-lay. I have been having what we like to refer to as no life. So there have been little stories to tell here. The kids are fine, in case you wondered... their house burnt down a couple weeks ago, but they seem to be doing better now. As you can all see, I am still making music... I wish some of you people out there would buy my new album.. it really does kick ass, and it's available for sale off the internet now, Three Sticks is the name, and it's only $5.99, if you pay with your credit card.... Just click the wee picture of me --> while you are at it, I also have t-shirts and coffee mugs available for sale too... I think I may have gone too far, but perhaps not..?? As far as my attitude goes, I think it is exactly the same as it's been for the last four months or so.... but I am trying to be more cheerful these days... perhaps I am fooling myself... ahh well, it's all for the best. I was talking to my dear friend Julie yesterday, and we realized that our 10 year high school reunion will be coming up in 3 more years... only three years to become productive members of society... not much time.. not much at all... I have to become a rock star like right quick here... any suggestions? We also realized that it has been 10 years since that oh so meaningful turning point in our lives when we went to go see Depeche Mode... my god, ten years.. I am so freaking old it makes me wanna shit. And all I do is work at a magazine store?? Something is wrong here. I also realize I have been single for exactly half a year... where are all the chicks? Am I even looking? What's going on here? Ahhh well, such is the way the spindle rotates I suppose.

JUNE 10 2000

I just wanted to say that my best friend Terry, the genius behind the smash hit song 'Wolf Man' Has hung out with the Wolf Boys... You know the ones, the circus kids, who happen to be werewolves... yeah, and he hung with them... only Terry could achieve this...

JUNE 8 2000

First thing on the agenda... obviously the new album is done. So take in your bottles, sell your sister, or rob the Alpine Steak and Lounge. But you best be getting it. And yes, it nearly killed me making this one, So at very least, out of respect for my life, find a way kids. It has come to my attention as well that my entries in this section seem to be rather dreary, to say the least. And after reading over my writings that last couple months, I am surprised that no one has call a counselor for me. This has to stop, before something terrible happens, and yes, my head hurts more than it has done in months tonight, and yes, I am not entirely thrilled with the out come of certain situations. But instead of using the patented Blaise method of self destruction, and self hate. I believe it is time to get happy instead. So here I am, I am gonna be a joyful mother fucker. It won't be easy, and I may require the help of 10 or 15 cute girls... but 'tis the way of things I guess. Other wise, lets face it, I'm a board head. I don't think I need to wander the street aimlessly, I don't need to live a meaningless life full of artificial substitutes for happiness, I do not need to crash down in to my pit, my pit there on the ground... In short, no. I am no Board Head. I may be migraine head... but that's a different story. Anyway, in conclusion, if any one out there knows how to have a good time, please contact me and we shall hang, and you all must get a hold of my new album, cuz it drained every last bit of my soul out of me to make, and my friend Traci gave me some pictures that she has taken of various shows and what not, so with out further ado, here is a couple shots of the last time I played, at The New Gallery, with Scott... Ciao to all, and happy birthday to Anita.

By the way everyone should go here and listen to these guys, they are some kind of geniuses...

MAY 26 2000

All I can say is life has gotten worse. So there.
To hear a track from the upcoming FUKACHUK EGG MACHINE album, click on the little picture of me at the bottom of the screen,
------>
You can figure it out from there.
Ciao.

MAY 19 2000

I just thought I would let you all know that I may be neglecting my web site for a while, I have started work on my new album. Which means I will be doing nothing but sitting here in my tiny room, consuming nothing but cigarettes and coffee, and if Im lucky, beer. Staying up till 6:00 every morning for probably the next two months. Which reminds me, if anyone has a spare hard drive they want to give me, it would be appreciated. I have finished one song so far, and it is most impressive if I do say so myself, but considering my mood lately, it just may turn out to be one of those albums you slit your wrists to... oh well. But I still like to get e-mail, so write me everybody.. blaisek@home.com. If I make anything available to listen to on the web, I will let you all know. Thank you all for supporting my web site, ciao.

MAY 14 2000

The song of my year is 'from the edge of the deep green sea', just in case you wondered.

MAY 11 2000

Some one has been visiting my web site like 3 or 4 times a day for like a couple weeks... and I have no idea who it is... am I really that exciting?? Anyway, who ever you are let me know! It's driving me mad!! I have guest books for just such things... Thank you for your time.

MAY 10 2000

I wandered the streets last night until the wee hours. It is interesting the way downtown dies such a fast death at night here in Calgary, granted it was monday. But the only folks out seemed to be the sad City workers, sweeping the streets, and putting up signs telling people where they can, and can not drive. And the homeless, asking for your change, when I knew very well, they probably had more change to spare than me. Needless to say, I ended up in a bar listening to reggae music, with my friend. It is here that I will thank Mr.Bartender-man for the free beer. The city seems so sad at that hour of night... Half finished buildings, and quiet streets. I awoke this morning in a home that wasn't mine. That has only happened to me one other time in the past year... too strange. I realized I like beds. And I need to get out more.
And that was as they say, his final entry. Good night.

MAY 1 2000

As I sit here covered in brothel light, surrounded by the smell of various inscents, wearing the boots my sister bought for me a few years back, Listening to some song on repeat, wishing my back would stop hurting, my head would stop pounding, and for my soul to become a happy one. I think. I think about Lizards, and Trees, and just why the sticks are always in threes. Not able to concentrate on any tasks at hand, not able to control my self in really any way that seems right. Not able to stop thinking about the things that no one knows but me. Sock over my eyes, and free to do what I can. With out the burdens of my future, and with out the accomplishments of my past. There was a story I once wrote, it all started with a boy, well a man really, who was by him self, sitting alone, thinking about trees, and Lizards, and what not. He travels the land, and searches in every corner of what he sees. And discovers that he isn't looking for the tree, or the lizard, or anything he thought he would find. They were with him the whole time, he was carrying them with him, in his heart. And once he realized this, the Lizard, and the Tree all came to him, and he didn't have to go anywhere. My film never got made.
"And so there he was, walking the streets like he did all the time, with his new found knowledge, and his new found hope. She came out of the empty house and shook his hand, then took his hand and showed him to the tree. It was at the house where his journey began. You can climb the tree or hang from it, she said. And she gave him some rope. He gave her some wood, and they built a swing."

APRIL 11 2000

I have not really had much to say in this here public forum of sorts for a while, and I appologize to all you sick bastards who want to know every thing about my life, but the fact remains that there are too many strange situations, personal things and such going on for me to write anything remotly run of the mill at this time... I hope you can all understand. I think I have found some sort of religion though.. I had to make it up my self, but still... and I guess I am the only member, and it doesn't really have a name.. and.. I don't know... but I am thinking of writing some kind of Bible at this time... Trees, and Lizards, and such... you know what I mean?
Ah fuckit. You can all rot in hell. Life isn't fair.

APRIL 3 2000

All I want out of life is to play my guitar, play it for someone who cares. I want to be happy with out having to think about it. I want to go to bed and not be scared. I like being Blaise, I wish I could do it more often.

MARCH 28 2000

I think I have decided to just shut the hell up for a while... Perhaps I will stop thinking too. That would be most efficient.

MARCH 25 2000

ummm... hmmmm.... really though, I just don't feel like talking.

MARCH 17 2000

My back hurts. And I am sick to death of living my stupid routine over and over and over again... I just wish something would happen to give me a little boost. Just something a wee bit spectacular.... something to change my routine. We just released a new video tape of short films... after close inspection, I realized I had almost nothing to do with any of them... am I lazy? or have I just lost my creativity... I used to have all the ideas around here, and now.. apparently... I have none of them.. and you know what? They are all good ones. I just wish I had more time... I am at work, or with the kids... I love them more than anything, and do NOT resent it. Perhaps I can resent work... But how am I supposed to do anything? Every single night I am at work, and my only nights off, I have the kids.. I don't wanna miss out on my kids, so that is the only plan available to me... no life whatsoever. I have no time to do anything really creative... let alone meet any one. I guess that is why I spend so much time on this damn web page... it is easy to maintain in the few hours I have here and there... like what am I gonna be doing at 3:00 in the morning other than this? I have little options. Perhaps if I had a car, I could go somewhere... but I have to rely in Calgary fucking Transit.... "Hi, we're Calgary Transit, we suck shit, we want you to have to walk home if you plan on being out past 12:00..." What a fucking joke. Like if they even had one bus an hour coming back from Down town late night... but no... they decide to suck instead... fuck 'em.

MARCH 7 2000

Today I talked to a good friend who didn't know who I was. Do you know how scary that is? She has lost her memory, she can't remember anything past 1995... How do you deal with something like that? I was her best friend, and now I am a stranger...
Later on in the day I talked to someone else who didn't know me... an old friend, who I, at one time, confided everything about my being to. We knew each other better than anyone, once. But now she doesn't know anything about me, past 1994. Do you know how scary that is?
i just thought I would share this with you kids, I thought it to be a rather weird day in the life of Mr.Kolodychuk...

MARCH 2 2000

No matter what you all want to believe, I am a person, who is very complex, and has feelings like the reast of you. It has been a strange life... More so than most of yours I'm sure... I have done lots of things, and touched lots of people with the things I do. I am important. I am sure of this. I know I can be useful again, I just need to try. I have taken the first step today, and bought myself a new leather jacket. My latest album is so powerful to me. I don't think any of you can understand what it takes out of a person to make music. Not unless of course you are a musician your self, and make the music for meaning that goes far beyond money. I may not be the best song writter in the world, (I think my friend Terry just may be though..) but the things I say are all true, very true to me. When I listened to the track 'Igot someone to love' after I had finnished mixing it, I lost it and broke out in tears... For me, that song is the cumanation of 15 years making music. I have never been so proud of myself. And to think I wrote the words, music, everything that went in to that song way back in like 1994... It sums up my existance... If you are fortunate enough to listen to that album, you are finding out who I am, in a deeper and more intamate way than you ever could in person...
Sorry about all this... Not enough sleep, and too many pharmaceuticals me thinks.

FEBRUARY 7 2000

The beat from the song 'Fool's Gold' changed my life. My Walkman is my best friend.

FEBRUARY 5 2000

Woo Hoo!! I have changed my page, with my new understanding of frames! I like it, I don't espacially care if any one else does. My new film is on it's way to being done, to check out my Bo-Bo site, click HERE. Another child of my frame knowledge... Holy shit.. I just looked at my people page.. I wrote some fucked up shit on there.. I don't remember... Oh well, I don't remember a lot of things these days, I'm so hopped up on drugs all the time i don't know what's happening. I got so much goddamn pain every where... oh well.. I'm getting old.. they say I'm enimic, no doubt from living with these crazy vegetarians... guess I have to start watching my diet... I am SOOOO dizzy!!! Christ!!!! And Sleep??/ I haven't slept in like 4 days!! Just can't any more... don't know why. I AM A MESS! I think I hate it, rather than loving it, like I used to. Holy Shit, do I ever have to piss! CRAZY I tell you... I have decided I hate everyone. It's nothing personal, mind you. If I can't be happy, no one can!!! WOOO HOOO!!!! I am so fucking miserable.... don't know why.... hmmmmm.... I don't thinks me likes the new millenium. Seems to suck pretty bad so far, all I do is work... I don't even sleep! Well... I do sleep sometimes, but as soon as I get up, it's back to work... Fuck does it SUCK! WOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!! I hate you all!!!! heheheheheheh!! Fuck am I ever dizzy... I just looked up from the screen, and the room was spinning, guess I learned MY lesson! Never again will I look up from thi screen... I got nothing to look at any ways, just a tiny room full of junk, memories from my past, a past that was better than any future I could ask for. I refuse to believe that my life could get better, it seems impossible. Back in 1994... yeah... that was some good times! That's when I had a life, a great life, playing my music for people, every weekend, and they loved it! I was making them happy, just by playing guitar, and wearing a dress... jesus man, it was beautiful... then I happened to half assed grow up, sort of.. well I was supposed to any ways, and then life started to suck... I wonder if it will get better??? Probably not... not with my bad fucking attitude.... I need to lighten up, perhaps.... I don't know. Fuck it.. I'm gonna go pee.. I'm doing the fucking pee-pee dance on my chair.... see ya!

JANUARY 3 2000

Well, the new year has come and gone, with not even a little bit of mass destruction... I'm glad. I have been having a crappy new year.... why? None of your business. Other than that, My album has been done, and I am now on an insane ego infested rampage telling any one with ears how cool I am... Cuz guess what mother fucker... I am pretty darn cool. Sorry I haven't written for a long time, but, you know how the holidays are.... getting all my water, and food rations, and what not to take with me in to my -now useless- bomb shelter for the new year.... Just kidding kids... My plan to stay home, get drunk, and cry myself to sleep on new years eve never came through... well at least not the stay home part... So no worries, I was out there getting as drunk as humanly possible, like the rest of you.... I just found out that there is a manned mission to mars planned for the year 2019... I am so excited!! Wooo Hooo!!! And they have discovered a planet, in another solar system, that is just like Earth!! That means there are probably groovy assed Aliens on it!! And I know they all want to hear my new CD..... I know they do..... Well... I got some pictures developed, and put some new one on my people I crave page... You should go check that out... Some really cute ones of my kids... You dig?? I will be emptying the contense of my bag on to my scanner tonight, so go check out what's in there too... Found a groovy picture of me wearing a shirt with no sleeves... Click Here to see it... Why would you want to? Cuz I'm one Groovy mother fuckin' guy... That's why. I am just too pleased with my CD, you will have to forgive me if I live in a self obsessed haze for a while... Any hoo... see ya cats later...