APRIL 11 2000

I have not really had much to say in this here public forum of sorts for a while, and I appologize to all you sick bastards who want to know every thing about my life, but the fact remains that there are too many strange situations, personal things and such going on for me to write anything remotly run of the mill at this time... I hope you can all understand. I think I have found some sort of religion though.. I had to make it up my self, but still... and I guess I am the only member, and it doesn't really have a name.. and.. I don't know... but I am thinking of writing some kind of Bible at this time... Trees, and Lizards, and such... you know what I mean?
Ah fuckit. You can all rot in hell. Life isn't fair.

APRIL 3 2000

All I want out of life is to play my guitar, play it for someone who cares. I want to be happy with out having to think about it. I want to go to bed and not be scared. I like being Blaise, I wish I could do it more often.

MARCH 28 2000

I think I have decided to just shut the hell up for a while... Perhaps I will stop thinking too. That would be most efficient.

MARCH 25 2000

ummm... hmmmm.... really though, I just don't feel like talking.

MARCH 17 2000

My back hurts. And I am sick to death of living my stupid routine over and over and over again... I just wish something would happen to give me a little boost. Just something a wee bit spectacular.... something to change my routine. We just released a new video tape of short films... after close inspection, I realized I had almost nothing to do with any of them... am I lazy? or have I just lost my creativity... I used to have all the ideas around here, and now.. apparently... I have none of them.. and you know what? They are all good ones. I just wish I had more time... I am at work, or with the kids... I love them more than anything, and do NOT resent it. Perhaps I can resent work... But how am I supposed to do anything? Every single night I am at work, and my only nights off, I have the kids.. I don't wanna miss out on my kids, so that is the only plan available to me... no life whatsoever. I have no time to do anything really creative... let alone meet any one. I guess that is why I spend so much time on this damn web page... it is easy to maintain in the few hours I have here and there... like what am I gonna be doing at 3:00 in the morning other than this? I have little options. Perhaps if I had a car, I could go somewhere... but I have to rely in Calgary fucking Transit.... "Hi, we're Calgary Transit, we suck shit, we want you to have to walk home if you plan on being out past 12:00..." What a fucking joke. Like if they even had one bus an hour coming back from Down town late night... but no... they decide to suck instead... fuck 'em.

MARCH 7 2000

Today I talked to a good friend who didn't know who I was. Do you know how scary that is? She has lost her memory, she can't remember anything past 1995... How do you deal with something like that? I was her best friend, and now I am a stranger...
Later on in the day I talked to someone else who didn't know me... an old friend, who I, at one time, confided everything about my being to. We knew each other better than anyone, once. But now she doesn't know anything about me, past 1994. Do you know how scary that is?
i just thought I would share this with you kids, I thought it to be a rather weird day in the life of Mr.Kolodychuk...

MARCH 2 2000

No matter what you all want to believe, I am a person, who is very complex, and has feelings like the reast of you. It has been a strange life... More so than most of yours I'm sure... I have done lots of things, and touched lots of people with the things I do. I am important. I am sure of this. I know I can be useful again, I just need to try. I have taken the first step today, and bought myself a new leather jacket. My latest album is so powerful to me. I don't think any of you can understand what it takes out of a person to make music. Not unless of course you are a musician your self, and make the music for meaning that goes far beyond money. I may not be the best song writter in the world, (I think my friend Terry just may be though..) but the things I say are all true, very true to me. When I listened to the track 'Igot someone to love' after I had finnished mixing it, I lost it and broke out in tears... For me, that song is the cumanation of 15 years making music. I have never been so proud of myself. And to think I wrote the words, music, everything that went in to that song way back in like 1994... It sums up my existance... If you are fortunate enough to listen to that album, you are finding out who I am, in a deeper and more intamate way than you ever could in person...
Sorry about all this... Not enough sleep, and too many pharmaceuticals me thinks.

FEBRUARY 7 2000

The beat from the song 'Fool's Gold' changed my life. My Walkman is my best friend.

FEBRUARY 5 2000

Woo Hoo!! I have changed my page, with my new understanding of frames! I like it, I don't espacially care if any one else does. My new film is on it's way to being done, to check out my Bo-Bo site, click HERE. Another child of my frame knowledge... Holy shit.. I just looked at my people page.. I wrote some fucked up shit on there.. I don't remember... Oh well, I don't remember a lot of things these days, I'm so hopped up on drugs all the time i don't know what's happening. I got so much goddamn pain every where... oh well.. I'm getting old.. they say I'm enimic, no doubt from living with these crazy vegetarians... guess I have to start watching my diet... I am SOOOO dizzy!!! Christ!!!! And Sleep??/ I haven't slept in like 4 days!! Just can't any more... don't know why. I AM A MESS! I think I hate it, rather than loving it, like I used to. Holy Shit, do I ever have to piss! CRAZY I tell you... I have decided I hate everyone. It's nothing personal, mind you. If I can't be happy, no one can!!! WOOO HOOO!!!! I am so fucking miserable.... don't know why.... hmmmmm.... I don't thinks me likes the new millenium. Seems to suck pretty bad so far, all I do is work... I don't even sleep! Well... I do sleep sometimes, but as soon as I get up, it's back to work... Fuck does it SUCK! WOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!! I hate you all!!!! heheheheheheh!! Fuck am I ever dizzy... I just looked up from the screen, and the room was spinning, guess I learned MY lesson! Never again will I look up from thi screen... I got nothing to look at any ways, just a tiny room full of junk, memories from my past, a past that was better than any future I could ask for. I refuse to believe that my life could get better, it seems impossible. Back in 1994... yeah... that was some good times! That's when I had a life, a great life, playing my music for people, every weekend, and they loved it! I was making them happy, just by playing guitar, and wearing a dress... jesus man, it was beautiful... then I happened to half assed grow up, sort of.. well I was supposed to any ways, and then life started to suck... I wonder if it will get better??? Probably not... not with my bad fucking attitude.... I need to lighten up, perhaps.... I don't know. Fuck it.. I'm gonna go pee.. I'm doing the fucking pee-pee dance on my chair.... see ya!

JANUARY 3 2000

Well, the new year has come and gone, with not even a little bit of mass destruction... I'm glad. I have been having a crappy new year.... why? None of your business. Other than that, My album has been done, and I am now on an insane ego infested rampage telling any one with ears how cool I am... Cuz guess what mother fucker... I am pretty darn cool. Sorry I haven't written for a long time, but, you know how the holidays are.... getting all my water, and food rations, and what not to take with me in to my -now useless- bomb shelter for the new year.... Just kidding kids... My plan to stay home, get drunk, and cry myself to sleep on new years eve never came through... well at least not the stay home part... So no worries, I was out there getting as drunk as humanly possible, like the rest of you.... I just found out that there is a manned mission to mars planned for the year 2019... I am so excited!! Wooo Hooo!!! And they have discovered a planet, in another solar system, that is just like Earth!! That means there are probably groovy assed Aliens on it!! And I know they all want to hear my new CD..... I know they do..... Well... I got some pictures developed, and put some new one on my people I crave page... You should go check that out... Some really cute ones of my kids... You dig?? I will be emptying the contense of my bag on to my scanner tonight, so go check out what's in there too... Found a groovy picture of me wearing a shirt with no sleeves... Click Here to see it... Why would you want to? Cuz I'm one Groovy mother fuckin' guy... That's why. I am just too pleased with my CD, you will have to forgive me if I live in a self obsessed haze for a while... Any hoo... see ya cats later...

DECEMBER 4 1999

I have not written much lately... sorry kids.. been hard at work on my new cd... wish I could share some with you... but the fucking idiots at XOOM shut me down... you may have noticed that the 'listen to my music' section is not working... well they shut me down, thinking I was violating copy rights... by distributing MP3s, and haveing Real-audio, The earased all my shit... fucking fools never thought to see if I OWN the fucking copy rights to the stuff I was distributing.... AAHHGGHH! Foolishness. Oh well, I guess you will all just have to buy my new cd when it comes out... sorry to have to make you spend money... didn't want to... but I have to... you know how it is folks. So in conclution, I am a musical genius with an ego problem, XOOM is run by half ape-half squid type creatures, I hate teenagers, and my son has magick inside of him, so he no longer needs to sleep with a stuffed animal. (Or thats what HE told me any how) oh yeah... some punk rocker down town wanted me to get him a baloon from a children's clothing shop.... I had to decline. Sorry brotha.. where ever you are...

NOVEMBER 20 1999

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As the title of this page says........ get it?

NOVEMBER 18 1999

As it seems I have lost my mind, and got my hair cut. Crys dragged me kicking and screaming in to a barber shop yesterday.... the result? Most of my head is shaved, with a big tuff of hair sticking out of the top. It looks a lot cooler than it sounds, don't worry kids. I still rule the universe. Lets get to the shocking part of the story shall we? Upon examinatin of my head, (parts of my head I have never seen) we discovered a strange scar. In the shape of a perfect V. I have never had an injury there, so I asked my mother if perhaps I had had one as a baby... allas, no injury ever happened. Interestingly this is the part of my head where I get constent pain and strange tingleing. This leads me to only one conclution... I have be abducted by aliens. I truely believe this. To see a picture of this crazy scar on my head clickhere. (yes, I stuck my head on the scanner.... yes, I am strange.)

NOVEMBER 12 1999

I was walking home the other day and looked in to the sky... the stars were so big and bright, it made me laugh my head off, right there in the middle of the field. It reminded me how completely insignificant we all are. Everything we do, though out our entire lives, really means shit. Only if you look at it on a grand scale however. If we place our self's at the center of the universe, every thing is not shit. Everything we do has huge significance to the whole universe... mainly our self. I took an on line survey to see if I had been abducted by aliens... it wouldn't let me process my results, not doubt due to alien interference. We will never be able to travel though time, sadly... I have been waiting for an old Blaise to show up at my door for as long as I can remember, and he has never came... I know I would not make myself wait this long to meet myself. I'm not that much of a bastard... Got a new kitty... She lives at my girlfriend's pad, and her name is Avalon. I will put a pic of her on here as soon as I get one... I think Dave Groll is cool. Why? Because no one thinks of Nirvana, when they think of Dave Groll any more. He has successfully detached him self from that phenomenon, and has his own life in the Foo Fighters. I don't really like the foo fighters all that much though... What I do like is the Beastie Boys... I believe that the future of our world will revolve around music, and art. Music in particular. After all, 'it's the dawning of the age of Aquarius'... but back the the beasties... they have something, it's so much more than just hip-hop, or rock... they are our future... I'm sorry so say almost.. What happened to good old rock music? Everything is so crazy over produced, and nut ball. That is our future..what will make the difference between good and bad, is the attitude behind the music, it doesn't even necessarily have to be the lyrics. Rock n' roll as we knew it is dying, why? Because the new stuff sounds better... doesn't mean it IS better, but it sounds better... Am I babbling?? Oh well... got a bad head ache, but I thought I should write in my global bitch machine before bed... most people have a little section "about me" I have instead decided to basically put a diary out for the world to see, I thought if you really want to know about me, this would be a better way to meet, than just telling you I'm 5 foot 11, with long black hair... Soon to be short black hair, If I ever get the nerve to do it... I have had long black hair for 9 years... been lookin' the same for 9 years... I live in my fucking past, and it has to stop. I'm sick of my past... perhaps I should do something cool in my present so I won't have to live in 1994 any more... Don't get me wrong, my present kicks ass... I got a great girl, I have the strangest...  I mean best kids in the world, and aside from not eating much everything is well... I just wish I was still a psychopath, things are much more interesting when I am. But who's to blame? Just me...

NOVEMBER 7 1999

By the time anyone actually reads this page it will be like 80 feet long. Mmmmm.. the sweet taste of cigarettes... How come I don't get more hits on my page? My girlfriend is always working her ass off to advertise my shit over the web... but the only people who come here seem to be the kids on my icq whom I badger constently to go here... Oh well, I'm not Katdiva. As for THAT home page... my god, I went there today, for my daily look into Katdiva's sad life of constant harrassment, and here is a memorial to her.. like she commited suicide or something. If you have never been to that home page you won't know what I'm talking about. Anyhoos, turns out the whole thing was a big hoax... very clever I must say... Poor Terry though, he was falling in love with little Kelly... As dorris day would say.....
Well, it's 3 in the morning, and I got kids tommorow, so I bid you farewell...

NOVEMBER 5 1999

Three days in a row I have been possesed to add to this section... don't worry, I will get bored with it soon, and move onto other more wonderful things... My bitch for the day: Hmmmmmm.... lemme see.. I'm not in the best mood. But I'm listening to blondie, so all will be well soon. Hearing about aliens eating cars is a good way of relaxing one's soul. It's like getting a fortune cookie, but not getting a fortune in it.. you know what I mean? It's like your destiny has been totaly ripped off from that moment on. I was reading about some band today, some chick-punk-goth band sort of deal... these girls were like 15 years old.. playing there own shit, I forget the name of the band right now, but that's not the point. The point is, I have been makeing music for fucking years, and where am I? I sure as hell ain't plastered accross the pages of spin magazine... why the hell do some people get all these fucking breaks, but a poor kid like me, who if given some good equiptment, could out rock just about anything that walked... I'm not 'just' being egotistical, it's the fucking truth. I got alot of fucking songs, and the raw energy needed to become the worlds foremost rock n' roll god. But let just see if it happens... ok, I do have extreme lazyness going against me... but I shouldn't have to go out and prove myself, people should be out there looking for me. Anything else exciting in the news today?? lets see.. oh BECK... look at this guy, he's a fucking goddamn genious. I fuckin' love him. This kid knows what I'm talking about. I'm sure he has worked a lot harder than me, but fuckit, I still rule too you know. That's todays bitch. Thank you very much.

NOVEMBER 4 1999

I just wanted to say that I went out and finally got the "From here to eternity" Clash album... I want every one to go out and buy this right now. It has brightenend up my day considerably. It totaly kicks ass, I am almost tempted to say it is the best clash album ever... I suppose I can't though.. would a live album count? I don't know. I think the best die spinne album is "suicide", and that's live... so maybe it is.. oh well.. go buy it, you won't be disappointed. One more thing before I leave. I have worked in the magazine selling business for a few years and have made this observation... Old business men buy lots, and lots, and lots of porn. They are all married too.. I check for a ring. It wouldn't be as bad, but they always buy the Barely 18, or Baby face, or live young girls stuff... I bet these perverts have teenage daugters at home. It's fucking gross, it's scary. Like I want to hurt them. It's evil. Yet another reason to hate business men... if it's in a suit, don't trust it.